“I write to ask for your assistance in a very special case. I have got your name from a friend, and he assured me that you could give the helping hand that I need.” Omtrent slik kan dei begynne, dei mange tiggarbreva som blir sende ut til e-postadresser i vest og nord, kanskje også aust og sør.

Somme kallar det ”Nigeria-brev”, sia menneske frå Nigeria har stått bak ein del forsøk på svindel ved hjelp av førespurnader om ”business proposal”, ”investment assistance” eller rett og slett ”help”. Andre kallar det tiggarbrev. Uansett er det snakk om forsøk på å lure til seg kontoopplysningar og pengar frå godtruande menneske som er viljuge til å prøve å tene raske, svarte pengar. Men korfor ikkje svare med same mynt? Det har eg gjort.

Eg har skrive ein mal til eit slags omvendt tiggarbrev, og dette har eg sendt til ein del av dei som har fylt e-postkassa mi med liknande brev. Ideen er gratis, og det er berre å kopiere brevet og bruke det, eller lage liknande, gjerne meir tåredryppande historier. Eg gjer merksam på at eg ikkje står inne for innhaldet i brevet, eg har berre tilpassa meg sjangeren….

Dear Mr./Mrs.,

I write to ask for your assistance in a very special case. I have got your name from a friend, and he assured me that you could give the helping hand that I need.

As you might know, my country is in big trouble. Having had socialist governments almost continuously since before WWII, the human rights has been severed and it is now unbearable for people from the families that have developed and enrichened our country for centuries. The people of Norway are not free.

The government have restricted the rights to own properties, our rights to run our businesses for the benefit of our people, and given us hard taxes also on wages. It is in fact illegal to decide over your possessions as you want, and this is of course followed by restrictions in freedom of speech and gaining political influence. They have also made it almost impossible to be a landowner and industrialist, as me and my forefathers have been for ages. Tax prison is not an unknown word in this society, and so is envy, official harassment and threats. Many influential people have already fled to more liberal countries, but some of us have had responsibilities and ties that have kept us in this socialist regime. (For the time being, the regime is socalled christian-conservative, but it follows the same socialist policy as the socialists.)

Being the sole heir and owner of big areas in the rural areas of coastal Norway, I have had much trouble with the government in many ways, and I have to think of my wellbeing and my future. Now I find it`s time for me to say good bye to this repressing system, and then I need an honest and understanding business partner abroad. This is a deal which has to be done with absolute secrecy, if not, the lives of me and my family will be in great danger.

As mentioned, I own much land in western Norway. On my estate, there are several big farms, some fishery factories, a couple of good harbours, a wharf and a small, private airport. The government has now decided that gas from the North Sea is going to be landed at the corn area of my property (Nyhamna, Gossen). I also possess parts of the ground where the gas has been found. This will give me a larger amount of money paid by the state, money that the same socialist rulers in this socalled democracy are going to capture under the name of income tax and property tax. Having worked hard for my properties and my people, I am not going to let this happen. Therefore I need a contact abroad that could be the receiver of this payment before one hand (the oil division of the government) knows what the other hand (the tax government) is doing. The last documents I have received, suggests that I will be paid approximately 55 million euros for the property, of course far below the market price, but it`s not possible for me to sell to oil firms or private investors. Almost everything is run by the state her. Therefore, I also intend to leave the country, and the dear possessions that my family has owned for generations, working hard to make it profitable, and always having treated our people in fair ways. If I stay here, I fear the future.

I ask you openly, is it possible for you to let me use one of your bank accounts to receive the payment? You will then get a good share of the money, and the size of this amount can be object of discussion. As honourable persons, we trust each other in this business. I will suggest a further way of dealing with this business later. It is however urgent, as the new owners - the state - is going to start their work on my properties this May.

Dear Mr./Mrs., I will await for your answer with great expectations. 

Yours trustfully,

Georg A. Anker-Hansen, phi.sk.

Prøv det sjølv, og nokon bit kanskje på... Eg har fått svar - les dei her! 

Av Jon Peder Vestad. 

Brevet er tidlegare lagt ut på www.nrk.no/alltidmoro, og på Vestads vevstad 13. mai 2003.